A Girl After Two Boys

Can I make a confession?

I am absolutely terrified that we are having a baby girl.

I'm also excited, overjoyed, already in love, and absolutely looking forward to meeting my little girl. Just like with my boys, I have high hopes for her and I know that she will go on to do great things in her own way and time.

But I'm also scared. Teaching things like positive body image, not to take crap from anyone (especially boyfriends), true femininity and womanhood, what it means to be truly respected and respect others, good relationships, etc. intimidates the heck out of me. Part of me wants to keep her in a little bubble for forever, but I realize that's completely impractical and no way to live.

I don't have these fears with the boys. Maybe it's because I know how I was when I was growing up (yikes), maybe it's from personal experiences and choices that I made growing up. I want to protect her from some of those experiences and bad choices, and from all of the bad things that can happen out in the world. But I realize that this is not a practical way to approach raising a girl vs. raising boys.

So, dear friends, how does a mother teach her daughter self love and positive body image when mom struggles with both? And how does a mother teach her daughter to be more discerning with her relationships than her mother was? And how does a mother protect her daughter from all of the things that can hurt her and the bad decisions that she can make without locking her up or sending her off to a nunnery?

The best place I can think to start is by making sure hubs and I have a strong and positive relationship. And by hubs showing Emma how a man should treat a woman. Hubs and I need to model healthy communication, appreciation, respect, conflict resolution, and, of course, love, affection and intimacy. Along the lines of healthy relationships, showing Emma the value of deep friendships with other women and also the benefits of having older women as mentors would be great places to start.

Obviously modeling self respect, confidence, healthy relationships etc. is important for all of our children, I just seem to be more afraid that I'll screw up raising a girl than boys. We definitely plan to "date" all of our kids one on one for multiple reasons. Each child needs to have a one on one relationship with their parents that's particular to him or her, and each child needs to have the continued opportunities to connect with each parent.

With Emma's arrival imminent all of these things run through my head and keep me up at night (along with contractions), and I know I'm getting ahead of myself. The newborn days (and possibly the NICU) are in our immediate future and I ought to be preparing for her Baptism, sleepless nights, establishing a nursing relationship and bonding, remembering how to baby wear a newborn and concerning myself with making sure my boys aren't left out when Emma comes. So pray for us, and for our family. For now we have to focus on as smooth a transition as possible when Emma is born, we have plenty of time to worry about everything else later.