Saturday, January 11, 2014

We Make Plans and God Laughs

We've all heard the saying, make plans and God laughs. Well I can tell you how true this is. It all started with my New Years Resolutions. As Hubby and I sat on the couch watching the time tick away and the crazy New Years celebrations, I made the following list of goals for the new year:





















If you can't read my chicken scratch, it's a lot of working towards getting organized, decluttering, becoming a more connected wife and mom, working on communication, finish the projects that I start, having a less haphazard and desperate prayer life, you get the idea. I was really struggling keeping a balance in all of my duties of a stay at home mom. The kids, the housework, the cooking, incorporating learning and playtime, continuing with my baking and sewing etc. I either had a spotlessly clean house and kids who sat in front of the TV for most of the day, or a disaster of a house with happy kids. Not to mention I got so wrapped with everything I had or wanted to do and my poor hubby sometimes was left by the wayside. By the time we were done with our days and the kids were in bed, we barely had energy for the dishes much less each other.

So I geared my resolutions and goals towards becoming more efficient and organized, with specific monthly goals to tackle. My first monthly goal was to wake up at the same time every morning. Sounds silly, but what better way to begin working out an efficient routine than to get up at the same time every morning, and go to bed at the same time every night. I didn't come up with this on my own, I took the suggestion from St. Josemaria Escriva and his book The Way which is a collection of meditation points regarding various topics. The five points below come from the section on Direction:

76. If you don't have a plan of life, you'll never have order.
77. You told me that to tie yourself to a plan of life, to a schedule, would be so monotonous!
And I answered, "It is monotonous because you lack Love."
78. If you don't get up at a set hour, you'll never fulfill your plan of life.
79. Virtue without order? Strange virtue!
80. With order, your time will be multiplied, and you will be able to give more glory to God by doing more work in his service.

Having always balked at routine and schedules and order I didn't know where to start, so where did I turn? Pinterest of course! With a little searching I found this free yearly planner, and this free Ultimate Life Planning System. I picked and chose from each and came up with a planner that I thought would work best for me. I spent a good chunk of time filling it out, coming up with a daily cleaning schedule, separate to do lists for getting my projects done, curriculum for starting to homeschool Liam, weekly plans, I organized my coupons and came up with a reasonable daily routine for me and the kids. AND I got myself up at my target wake up time the morning of January 1st. I was on a roll! 

The night of January 1st was a different story. Kevin took me to the hospital for some contractions that were slightly concerning, but I got to go home after a couple shots of terbutaline, some tests and orders to come back the next morning for an ultrasound to follow up. The next morning my contractions had come back but I didn't think they were too serious. Hubby had to work so my mom stayed with the boys and my brother drove me back to the hospital for my follow up ultrasound which we thought was going to be routine. It turned out I was contracting every two minutes and it seemed like Emma was going to make her appearance that day just short of 31 weeks. I was admitted and immediately hooked up to a magnesium drip, given steroids for Emma's lungs and given another shot of terbutaline. My 19 year old brother was an angel by my side and kept my husband and parents informed and coordinated the details of who was watching the kids, how to make sure the van and car seats got to the people who needed them and made sure my husband had a car to get to the hospital. It took hubby four hours to get to the hospital between the hour and a half commute home from work and then driving 20 miles through rush hour and a snow storm.

Thankfully labor was stopped, things are stable now and Emma passed her biophysical profiles with flying colors. I never imagined or wanted a pregnancy so full of interventions, but when needed modern medicine is an amazing thing. We stayed in the hospital from Thursday morning until Sunday morning. My and hubby's parents and siblings all surrounded us with love and support and took care of our boys, my parents cleaned our apartment (my dad even washed our dirty cloth diapers!), and everyone did laundry for us. We couldn't be more thankful for all of this as I was discharged with the orders of strict bed rest with the exception of using the bathroom and showering, and only leaving home for my weekly appointments with my new high risk OB (I had previously been with a group of midwives.). 

Talk about being blindsided! After all that organizing and planning I couldn't do any of it, much less clean my house or take care of my kids. I've been on bed rest at home for just shy of a week, and what an adjustment is has been. My husband has been working from home while watching over the kids and me with help from various family members, my mom and sister in law have cleaned my apartment and done laundry (bless my husband, every time he does laundry one of our sweaters turns into a hand me down for the kids), friends and family have brought us food and home cooked meals. I've been trying to entertain the kids from the couch, reading, writing and struggling with my new sedentary role. The fact of the matter is bed rest is the only thing keeping me pregnant right now so I have to let go of my other responsibilities and let people help (not easy). Luckily we are surrounded with supportive families and friends, and my grandfather and one of my aunts have made the journey from Buffalo to help care for me and the boys so that hubby can go back to work if needed or at least work from home with no distractions which is what we're hoping for.

So most of the plans I made have to be postponed. But I can work on my personal internal goals: communicate more effectively, let nothing take away your effectively, pray more and more effectively, less crying more laughter, be happy with what we have while working for what we want, admit fault and praise the success of others, more temperance less temper, learn new things, get up at the same time every morning, be a more connected mom, write more and revive the blog, read more, and let go of the mommy guilt. And maybe this is what I'm supposed to take away from this whole situation.




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